Here's a poem for you out there who have ever felt betrayed by the Catholic Church. The poem is located in a detox center but it could be located on your death bed. My prayers are with you.

IN THE SERVICE OF THE DAMNED

Detox again today
Detox again tomorrow
the same smell
of yesterday's gin
The same thoughts
of suicide
amid the dirty sheets
The same prayers
to St. Jude
who never seems
to get back to me

What a failure
I have become
I am so lonely and fucked up
I cannot even eat
The bowl of potatoes
that are handed to me
by the church deacon

Dear St. Jude
why are you
not responding
to my lost cause?
Surely you have
a data bank by now
that deals
with similar requests
You are better funded
than most
motor car companies
yet you are failing to deliver
when it really counts


My Dear St. Jude
I can see the writing
on the walls of Detox
That soon I will have
a wretched plot
in Potter's Field
As opposed to a
comfortable place
with you in heaven


Dear St. Jude,
I am in
the service
of the damned
Tell the young men
in muddy gym shoes
to surround me
I am but the
television set itself
Sent here to entertain them
the warm hearth
the global village
and its beyond
Lay your blankets
around me
Lay your addictions
down to the floor
I shall make you laugh
like Morey Amsterdam
from long ago
As ghosts of crack pipes
and remorse
move comfortably
around the room
with my own childhood


Now I am back home
I am drinking once again
I suppose I could go
to the cathedral
where I could light
prayer candles for the world
But they would
soon burn out
They would just
singe my eyelids
for awhile
as I drunkenly gaze
upon them
looking with
disappointment
for a responsive god
among them.


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